Saturday, August 6, 2011
Haryana's lonely bachelors
Sona Khatum and daughter,
BALJEET SINGH dandles his baby daughter on his knee, a picture of contented fatherhood. Last year the 37-year-old Hindu truck driver became the envy of his friends when he married a 16-year-old Muslim from Assam, in India’s north-east. The unorthodox marriage suited both. Mr Singh’s romantic life had become a casualty of India’s preference for boy babies, which in his state, Haryana, has led to the most skewed sex ratio in India: 116 to 100, according to the 2001 census, compared with a national average of 108. By the age of 30, says Mr Singh, he had given up hope of finding a girl from his own village, Nandgaon, or from his state. His wife, Sona Khatum, comes from an impoverished family in one of India’s poorest states, though village rumour mutters that she may be an illegal migrant from Bangladesh. Mr Singh paid handsomely. “Here, I’ve always been made comfortable,” she says shyly, from beneath her veil.
Ms Khatum is one of an increasing number of brides imported into Haryana, one of India’s richest states. The Red Cross Society of India, which campaigns against gendercide in the country, reckons that at least 100 brides have been brought into Bhiwani, one of Haryana’s 21 districts. Nandgaon, a village of some 1,700 people, most of them farmers, is a microcosm of bachelor angst. The Red Cross reckons that at least 100 bachelors have passed the age range thought ideal for marriage, which is 20 to 25. At least five have married women from other states, and “lots of my friends ask me, how can I find one?” says Mr Singh.
Besides ushering in a new tolerance of outsiders, the bride shortage has changed social mores in other ways. Villagers say that no girl may marry into a neighbouring village until her in-laws promise to provide a girl in return. They also say that girls’ parents are no longer expected to pay big dowries; instead, the onus is on young men to provide well for their future brides.